WHINE WEDNESDAY: Van Orden’s Twitter Use Wrapped
Welcome to Whine Wednesday with Derrick Van Orden, America’s fiercest keyboard warrior. We comb through the hundreds of tweets DVO posts during a week so you don’t have to. Grab a glass and join us for Whine Wednesday!
MADISON, Wis. —Van Orden has had quite the head-spinning week as evidenced by his 140 tweets. From falling for AI slop (again) to spreading conspiracy theories, you can find all the highlights (or lowlights) of Van Orden’s online presence this past week below.
DVO’S DADDY OF THE WEEK: Roadkill-Eating Conspiracy Theorist RFK Jr.
In case you needed any more evidence that Van Orden’s re-election campaign is in a downward spiral — look no further! Van Orden dragged America’s favorite roadkill-eating anti-vax conspiracy theorist to Elk Mound to sell rural Wisconsinites on the Trump administration’s agenda.
The issue here? Farm bankruptcies have exponentially increased as a result of the administration’s tariff taxes, along with an illegal war with Iran that is making fuel and fertilizer costs skyrocket. And let’s not forget that the Big Ugly Bill Van Orden has been flaunting which puts thousands of rural Wisconsinites at risk of losing their healthcare and SNAP benefits and threatens to close a hospital in his own district.
But don’t you worry, RFK Jr. was just the opening act for Van Orden’s parade of clowns coming to Wisconsin. On the same day RFK Jr. was in town, Trump announced he would be making a stop in western Wisconsin later this week. Do you guys smell that? Because it smells like desperation to us.
PRAY FOR MADISON
It seems Van Orden once again forgot he was a congressman and that his words actually bear meaning. On Monday morning, Van Orden tweeted “Pray for Madison. We are waiting for more information,” despite nothing happening in Madison that would warrant this tweet. Then, when asked about the tweet Van Orden said this:
Was Van Orden trying to be funny? Did he fall for fake news (again)? Honestly, we don’t know. What we do know is that this moment captures everything wrong with his time in Congress.
This tweet sent Madisonians and Wisconsinites across the state scrambling — confused, alarmed, wondering if they were in danger or if something tragic had struck the state capitol. All because of a sitting congressman who couldn’t be bothered to think before hitting post.
WORST TAKE: ICE Protesters are Useful Idiots
With increasing escalation at an ICE facility in New Jersey, Van Orden of course had to put his two cents in. In typical DVO fashion, instead of addressing the root of the problem, Van Orden decided that these were paid antifa protestors which sounds more like something your deranged uncle would post on facebook than something a sitting member of congress should be saying.
To make matters worse, Van Orden decided that these protestors are being manipulated by the Democratic Party to go die for them in these protests — saying that the Democrats need another martyr, which we can’t even get into how distasteful those comments are. In Van Orden’s twisted distortion of reality, he cannot fathom that people do not like the conditions ICE detainees are forced to stay in so it MUST be paid protestors that are being used as political pawns for the Democratic Party. Once he is out of congress, he has a great future ahead of him in QANON conspiracy theory reddit threads.
MONEY MONEY MONEY: Van Orden Feels Abandoned by National Republicans
Trouble in paradise? Van Orden seemed to be a little upset with the national Republicans not paying attention to his reelection campaign and not giving him enough money.
Listen, we know internal politics can be a bit messy, that’s just the name of the game. However, this paints a bigger picture in terms of the GOP’s faith in Van Orden’s reelection. It seems they don’t want to pour money into a dying campaign, and it’s even got DVO’s attention. They really said here, have the unpopular President, who’s current messaging is just simply “don’t worry about it,” come campaign on policies that are crushing working families. That’ll do it!
AI Slop Summer!
Hot girl summer? Brat summer? Move aside, this year we are starting AI slop summer and Derrick Van Orden will be our leader! Van Orden once again fell for AI, replying to an account posting one of the most obviously AI photos we have ever seen.
This Whine Wednesday editor’s favorite feature is the missing stem of the wine glass, but the lack of fingers is also the cherry on top. But seriously, should we really have a man in office that easily falls victim to AI slop engagement farming? I feel like there are a few more pressing things Van Orden could be focusing on, like the cost of gas or the impact of tariffs in his district.
Sincerely,
DVO’s Whine Club
