WHINE WEDNESDAY: Van Orden’s Twitter Use Wrapped
Welcome to Whine Wednesday with Derrick Van Orden, America’s fiercest keyboard warrior. We comb through the hundreds of tweets DVO posts during a week so you don’t have to. Grab a glass and join us for Whine Wednesday!
MADISON, Wis. — Van Orden has had quite the head-spinning week as evidenced by his 128 tweets. From ANTIFA conspiracies to bad AI, you can find all the highlights (or lowlights) of Van Orden’s online presence this past week below.
DVO’S DADDY OF THE WEEK: Himself
New polling out this week paints a rough picture for Van Orden: just 38% favorability, with 53% of likely voters viewing him unfavorably, including 46% who view him very unfavorably. For comparison, that same poll had Trump at 46%. Given that Van Orden’s reelection strategy is basically riding Trump’s coattails, those numbers should be setting off alarm bells.
So how’s Van Orden responding to this bad news? Certainly not by doing the work of actually representing his district. Van Orden’s big plan is to cosplay as an internet sleuth, pushing baseless conspiracy theories about the Patriot Front march in D.C. (more on that later), while continuing to cozy up to high-ranking Trump officials while they swoop in and campaign for him.
WORST TAKE: Patriot Front Members are actual paid ANTIFA protestors
Need more proof that Van Orden spends his days scrolling down right-wing rabbit holes? Look no further. He’s now convinced—or at least performing conviction—that the Patriot Front march was actually a staged ANTIFA operation.
Yes. Unmask these turds along with all of the ANTIFA scum.
— Derrick Van Orden (@derrickvanorden) July 5, 2026
His smoking gun? It’s just a little too convenient, in his mind, that a photographer happened to be on the train to capture a photo of a Black woman, a 33 year-old mother and D.C. native, surrounded by white supremacists.
Just checking the notes here.
There was on black female on a DC metro with a Reuters photographer that was suddenly bum rushed by a group of uniformly dress JackWagons and the photographer was in exactly the right place to catch this image.
Checks out.
For Bullshit.
— Derrick Van Orden (@derrickvanorden) July 6, 2026
Here’s a thought for DVO: photographers go places and take pictures. It’s called a job. You should try one sometime. What’s galling is that Van Orden almost certainly knows this is a debunked conspiracy theory—and he’s peddling it anyway, believing that his constituents aren’t smart enough to see through the lies.
REPLY GUY: Van Orden’s latest obsession is Brooke Rollins
As we’ve established in weeks prior, Van Orden simply cannot be normal about women in the Trump administration. From Tulsi Gabbard to Harmeet Dhillon to Karoline Leavitt, he’s positioned himself as their number one reply guy without fail, sliding into the comments like it’s his actual job description. This week, a brand new bombshell has entered the villa. Welcome to Van Orden’s reply list, Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins. When Van Orden saw Rollins riding a bull, he had to let her know she is a “dynamo.”
You are a dynamo! https://t.co/ChaAXt3UTq
— Derrick Van Orden (@derrickvanorden) July 1, 2026
Our response? 🤮. Again, this is behavior you could maybe expect out of a sad divorced dude living in his parents’ basement, not a sitting member of congress. At what point does someone on his staff pull him aside and gently suggest that maybe the Secretary of Agriculture does not need a running commentary from her congressional colleague every time she posts something?
PUT THE GROK DOWN PLEASE
This week, when a member of the military spoke out against the Trump administration, Van Orden—as always—couldn’t resist putting in his two cents, criticizing the soldier for daring to speak his mind. But in typical Van Orden fashion, he had to take it one step further, using Grok to AI-generate a video of the soldier holding an “Open to Work” LinkedIn sign while saying, “Would you like fries with that?”
Major JackWagon is practicing for his next job interview. pic.twitter.com/YWuLFasUU4
— Derrick Van Orden (@derrickvanorden) July 2, 2026
A few things. One, this is incredibly disrespectful coming from a guy who claims to be all about respecting servicemembers—apparently that respect has an asterisk—and it disappears the moment they say something that hurts Van Orden’s feelings. Two, why exactly is a sitting member of Congress spending his time AI-generating mean-spirited videos about a soldier instead of, you know, legislating? And three, and perhaps most offensive of all: the video just isn’t funny.
Editor’s Note: Thanks for tuning in to Whine Wednesday this week. Don’t forget to tune into Thirsty Thursday, our video format of Whine Wednesday, tomorrow on our social media pages!
Sincerely,
DVO’s Whine Club
